The Disappearing Body

What does it take to live in your body?

To climb out of the space where nobody talks
but memories hug words and jump around 
like leaves on Wednesday mornings
when the gardener comes.

I want to get out of this mind
punching and kicking
like a football team through a paper sign
that says:

We Know How The Story Ends...

...The Superheroine Always Wins

I can't stop trying to fix her
the other me
a hologram on repeat
glitching while I watch
helpless
like dreaming of running
but holding my knees
an adult sized fetus
night after night.

Maybe I can strangle her pixels
and turn them into air
breathe in deeply
until I'm
real
again.